Fly

Pretty much flying all day. Its ridiculously cold and I wore a skirt. Genius. We do have a short break between flights so I may go home and eat and change into pants and get my coat. The high is supposed to be 70 and we get home at 730 which will probably turn into 830 or 9....I'm sure there will be a delay. There always is. I'm absolutely freezing right now, I need some thick socks and a coat and gloves. I'm such a Floridian.

430am should not exist. Its dark outside, it should be considered night. That's all I'm saying.

The Value of People

I've re-read Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller the last few days. I've had a plethora of down time at work and I can breeze through a book in 3 days there. I usually don't re-read books because I feel as though I'm waisting time or something and I should read something different, but because of this new found time to read I have been reading 2 books a week at least. I have decided to go back and read some of my favorites again. Don makes everyone in Portland sound like incredibly smart human beings and he makes me want to go to school. In reality I know that not everyone in Portland is incredibly intelligent, but even when he talks about the homeless people that he speaks with he makes them sound so deep and introspective. I've honestly never had a deep and introspective conversation with a homeless person but maybe this just means I should get out more.

The point is that he puts value on everyone he talks about. Putting value on people and making them feel very appreciated is something I've always wanted to do. I have a friend named Tim and when we first met I was always amazed at how he would introduce me to people and brag on them and make them feel like they were very accomplished even if they weren't.

I don't value people like I should and I do not boost people like my friends Tim and Don do. (Yes, Donald Miller is my friend...in my mind.) Something so simple can make life change, it can change the very atmosphere around you and change someones lives.

When Tim first met me, I was in a bad place. I didn't feel valued or loved or Godly for that matter. Tim boosted me so high that it literally changed my year and the year after that. I still think of him very fondly when I think of the words he spoke that were so very simple but exactly what I needed to hear.

Jesus, I pray you would teach me to value people. Teach me, Lord to speak only things that build people up and not words that cut or bring people down.

8 hours of shopping. OH my

Holy tired!

I went shopping at about 1pm today...and just got back (at 9)! I didn't get ONE thing I set out to get...but spent a ton of money I shouldn't have...but fell in love with everything so I cant take it back lol.

I set out to get a) a sweater or jacket to wear at work that was warm yet office friendly but still yet un-frumpy. (If that exists) b) a pair of dress pants...preferably from Steve and Barry's cause I am on a budget. c) a lighter blanket. (All my blankets are SUPER warm to the point of suffocation.) d) possibly a pair of boots or shoes to wear to the office. e) a bra from the Victoria secret outlet.

I ended up buying. a) "So in love' perfume from VS. b) One pair of panties with cupcakes on them (Could I seriously leave them in the store? ...I thought you'd agree) c) 2 "safety" shirts. (Shirts you wear under clothing to make sure the girls are popping out, or to make sure your rear is covered) d) a mauve purse...more on the pink side. Its an exact replica of a purse I already own and wore out but in a different color. It was on sale for 11 dollars. e) 2 interview outfits. (One of which I will return once I get a few other opinions..this was the big purchase) and I think that is all...

None of those things were on my list. OH and I ran into target to sale candy (mmm) and an alarm clock and bought Jenn spider web tights and actual spider web decorations. She's doing a nightmare before xmas themed xmas ...and she's having a party for her b-day themed nightmare before xmas so I figured...what the hey.

I "shadowed" someone on Friday at my new job. (She was a complete fruit loop) and I think I can handle this job...HOWEVER...my schedule SUCKS. 12pm to 9pm Mon-Thurs and Sat. So I don't have 2 days off in a row...

I have an interview on Saturday (I have to work it out with my new job...tell them I have an apt or something) for a flight attendant job. That is why I bought the two interview outfits. If I get the job I have to go to training in Vegas for 4 and a half weeks...which is kind of forever. BUT I think I would enjoy the job so much cause I love to travel ...I could go visit all my friends that live EVERY freakin where now for free.

Anyways...I'm exhausted after a long day of shopping and I think I'm going to curl up with a movie...probably "Silk".

More Bri...

Brian's girlfriend "accidentally" friend requested me on facebook. YOU CANT accidentally friend request someone...you have to go through about 3 steps before you actually request someone.

Don't force me to stop talking to your boyfriend because you feel threatened by me and then try rubbing it in my face randomly.

And this immature outburst from me just proves I'm not over it. Us. I'm not over us totally.

Damn jealousy....it really is a hellish feeling.

And of course It all comes back to this is all my fault...I ruined things between us.

I cooked chicken.

So...I feel like I have this reputation for being SO girly and with that people expect me to know how to cook and clean and such...I really learned how to vacuum like 3 years ago. everyone in masters laughed at me. Its not like I WANTED to be raised that way...but my mom was one of those mom's who just wanted to do everything for me. I would ask for help and she would just take the taste over. I didn't even clean my room growing up. SO moving in with my dad this past year has been...interesting.

I have really avoided learning how to cook...BUT I feel like this is necessary considering I feel like one day I will be totally on my own and buying microwavable meals just wont cut it forever. SO...I cooked chicken today for the first time by myself ever! I'm proud. I know that isn't a huge first step...but honestly for me it is. I hate touching meat. Its so nasty to me. I cooked enough for the whole week so that I can eat healthier at lunch time. I'm going to eat grilled chicken and salad for lunch.

I don't really have a huge appetite generally anyways...so this is plenty of food for me. ..and its low cals and healthy. So now I wont go buy a happy meal for lunch...cause I'll admit it that's default for me when I have a job. I'm going to be a good girl.

I start my job tomorrow...I've decided on a maroon baby doll dress, black tights, black close toed 2 inch heels and a black long cardigan. I need more fall/winter clothes to wear to the office...but I figure if I just buy a few more skirts and a couple pairs of tights and then a decent jacket...I should be okay. Most of my clothes are summery...cause I live in Florida and I can start wearing them in March...and stop wearing them late Oct early Nov. So 4 months...of sorta cold weather. (Good hair weather though)

I'm so proud that I cooked. haha.

I trust.

I forgot to write about Sunday. Sunday morning I went back to friends community church of God...where my friends are worship pastors. It was a really great service on trusting God and it touched on everything from someone trusting and having faith in God to trusting God in every aspect of your life...and while I feel as though I did pretty good about how I trusted God with providing a job and money, I don't do quit that well trusting God with my husband.

I think about settling constantly. ..when I know that God has instilled in me convictions for different things. Convictions that most people do not share and while I do not think I am better than anyone, I have been scared I will never meet anyone who shares those convictions or would be okay with me living out the convictions I have developed.

But I laid it down Sunday in a beautifully broken way I put my trust in God. If he has called me will he not equip me? And that includes a father for all the children I want to foster, adopt, and love.

So I trust. 100% and in every aspect. I trust.

The River

So I am currently laying in bed....watching TV. I didn't end up falling asleep until 5am last night! So lame! I made myself wake up around 12:30 so that I could go to bed decently early tonight.

I decided last night that I have GOT to start watching my diet and maybe in about a week I will start running again. I bruised a bone or something. So my foot has been too hurt to run...but seeing pictures the last few months Im just not comfortable in this skin right now. Time to let some pounds fall off!

I am going to the river tonight. I haven't been to a river since I was in Maters commission. Although I may or may not stay long. David told me it was a ticket pass out night. I don't really go to Faith or Mainstream so I don't nessesarilly love passing out tickets...plus Im not sure how I really feel about people spending hundreds of dollars on a production while there are seriously poor people strugling to buy grocerys...just my thought.

Well I think I am going to actually get out of bed.